Class photograph
by Iseria Dweller
Summary: It was that dreadful time of the year again; the annual class photo. Nine accidentally earns himself a black eye through a game of truth or dare. Refusing to be immortalized in a photograph with a huge bruise, he cooks up a clever plan for an epic photo.


**I saw the poster in which Class Zero was posing in the midst of flames and all that jazz. The only thing that went through my head when I saw that picture was "….class photo…." **

**Hence, this story was born. **

**xXx**

The highlight of every school; normal or not. The dreadful class photograph. Professor Kurasame found it utterly useless and a waste of time. The whole photography section would take up two whole entire periods of his teaching time. Two periods was simply an estimation. In all honesty, he knew it would take up to three periods because Class Zero was simply awesome like that.

The last time his class had to line up for a simple student ID pass photograph (which was, by the way, supposed to take up only a few minutes of lesson time), it ended up being a half day affair. Half of his students simply refused to go up to the photography booth until they were either cleanly shaved AND/OR fully caked with make up that would make Miss Gran Pulse AF 700 proud.

Professor Kurasame wasn't the only one in this whole class photography being utter nonsense for his other fellow colleagues wholeheartedly agree that it was just a waste of time, effort and money.

But no one could go against the head of the school's order. No, you simply do NOT do that unless you wish to be fired, sent out to war or go home without a paycheck.

And there is nothing more horrible then being broke in the middle of a war torn era with annoying wailing children to feed. Caetuna will have his head on the platter for being jobless again.

Needless to say, Professor Kurasame was extremely cranky that day. He was already lagging way behind his schedule, chapter 10 still need to be covered and that pesky, useless, Narutard wannabe Class 9 was even ahead of his class for The Science of fine tuning Thaumaturgic magic!

"Jack, you seem to know the answer." Kurasame threw his Tonberry pet over at the young man who was doing something in between his legs.

Jack shrieked in a rather unmanly fashion as the Tonberry landed on his lap, causing him to drop the razor blade and pink tonberry compact mirror he had borrowed off Queen.

The boy had obviously been shaving that stubble off his chin. Like the rest of the whole entire class, Jack was obviously not giving a damn about the whole entire topic. Instead, the young man was busy grooming himself in the middle of class.

He wasn't alone in this aspect either. His fellow classmates were either busy combing their hair, applying lip gloss, heck, even Queen was not paying attention and that drove Kurasame up the velvet covered walls. Queen was his smartest, most polite, most perfect student ever (which made Kurasame wonder what in the world did Queen even saw in King when he caught them in an interesting position behind a library shelf one evening), why the heck is she even agreeing to this diabolical plan!

_As the old saying goes...if you can't beat em...join em..._The annoying inner voice (which strangely sounded like his wife), sang in his mind.

"Fine, since you're all much more interested in your appearances for that damn photograph," Kurasame sneered. "I'll release you a few minutes earlier so that you can preen in front of the mirror like sissies you are."

Kurasame was obviously attempting to draw out some manly response from the gung-ho members of his class but to his disappointment, even the manly King and Nine were toddling out of the classroom, a hair styling kit in hand.

_Why did I even bothered with this job in the first place...? _Kurasame decided that his life was made of epic fail right there and then.

**xXx**

"Do you think, this pose makes me look fat?" Cinque asked as she flaunted about the whole showers in a supermodel esque pose.

"When you're already fat, you're fat." Sice muttered, applying thick black eye liner onto her eye lids. "No poses in the world will hide the fact that you are obese."

Cinque dropped the pose, her huge blue eyes began to water. Sice of course, took no notice of the bipolar girl's reaction. She was far too used to this. Deuce quickly dashed up to the girl and hugged her.

As her classmate cried and wailed about her being mean, Sice calmly continued to apply black eyeshadow to complete her gothic rocker chick look. After all, she had a reputation and image to uphold. Just when Sice was re-doing her ponytail, Nine barged in looking hysterical. Never mind that he was actually in the girls' shower room and Queen was still using the shower.

"I got a fantastic announcement to make!" Nine declared dramatically.

His response involved a couple of shrieks and a scythe's blade to his head.

**Interlude**

Somewhere in the once proud land of the Gods known as Valhalla, two godly beings were currently strangling the life out of each other.

To be specific, a young woman with strawberry pink hair and a young man with black hair were trying to snuff the life out of one another despite the knowledge that as Gods, they are immune to the grim reaper's embrace.

"I'm going to kill you!" The woman screamed.

"I'm sorry but I remembered telling you from the beginning that some people like US, JUST CAN'T EFFING DIE!" The man screamed in sheer frustration.

"That doesn't mean I can't make your life miserable, Kaias!" The woman retorted.

"Ok fine." The man named Kaias, stopped fighting and looked at the woman. "I can make your life miserable by arguing with you, Lightning."

"Try me." Lightning the Valkyrie, sneered.

"You look like a girl."

Despite the fact that the sentence was absolutely true about the valkyrie being a female, Lightning did NOT take to the comment too kindly.

"Why you son of a-"

**End of random interlude**

"Did you see anything in there?" King was eager for some secret quick shots of Queen showering.

Nine groaned and applied more concealer on his left eye. "No, my phone got totaled over, remember?"

"Damnit Etro!" King was disappointed.

So weren't the rest of his classmates. They were all expecting some hot action in the showers.

Nine on the other hand, was upset about his black eye.

"Great, I didn't get any upskirt views and on top of that, my eye's totally busted!" Nine whined.

Jack patted his friend's back. "Hey, be glad that you didn't go blind."

Nine grunted as Trey cast cure on his eye again and again in a desperate attempt to rid him of the bruise.

"It's useless." Eight bent down and handed him yet another tube on concealer. "Ace said that the photographer's getting impatient."

"Tell him that the other classes can go on ahead first." Nine groaned, putting a slice of cucumber over his eye.

"Well, Kurasame-sensei is getting impatient too." Jack noted down.

"Tell him to go screw his Tonberry." Nine wasn't in any mood for the photograph anymore. He simply refused to be immortalized in a photograph with a black eye.

Ace poked his head into the room. "Hey, are you done yet?"

"Do I look like I'm fit for a photograph?" Nine snapped.

"You can be such a girl." Ace crossed his arms. "But the photographer isn't willing to wait any longer. He's acting as if his pants are on fire with all the waiting. He wants to go home ASAP to his wife."

That was when, Nine of Class Zero, was hit by an awestruck inspiration for their annual class photo.

"Oh holy Gods of Gran Pulse!" Nine shot up. "I LOVE YOU ACE!"

**xXx**

Deuce found herself dragging in buckets of gasoline, wondering how in the world her classmates evened agreed to such a dangerous plan!

"This is insane!" Deuce squeaked as she splashed buckets of gasoline all over the rocky courtyard.

"I think this is the most awesome idea ever." Sice was grinning happily as she played with a box of matches.

"We might set ourselves on fire!" Deuce wailed.

"Yep." Cater agreed. "But how is that any different from walking out there where the military shooting at us continuously when all ever wanted was a quick trip to the mall?"

Deuce supposed her classmate had a point. Still, she was a bit appalled that Nine would garner the whole entire class' interest in _this._

"Ok, I'm done!" Deuce tossed the metal bucket away and dusted her hand free of rust.

"Awesome!" Nine came bundling in with his weapon drawn out.

"What are you doing!" Deuce was alarmed.

Queen adjusted her glasses. "Nine had found a way to pose for a class photo without his black eye being too obvious."

Deuce nodded. So what in the world did gasoline and fire had to do with the whole fiasco!

"Yeh well, I thought it would be nice if we pose with our weapons!" Nine burst out excitedly. "Surrounded by fire, just like in those action movies!"

Deuce deadpanned. "As if teacher would even allow that."

Nine shrugged. "What are you, a teacher's pet? Come on, he'll be too busy catching up on his afternoon nap or something. It'll be quick."

Half an hour later, Deuce found herself huddled in between Cinque and Jack, surrounded by flames. None of her happy classmates noticed her discomfort or fear of fire, of course. Deuce shut her eyes and tried pretending that the fire wasn't there at all.

"Come on, Deuce," Sice nudged at the trembling girl with her elbow. "Get your weapon out. It looks cooler that way."

Deuce nodded weakly and fished her flute out from her coat and held it in her hands.

"Alright, by the count of three," The photographer positioned his camera on the tripod.

Class Zero rose into their trademark battle stance with their weapons out as the photographer snapped several shots of them.

"And that's a wrap!"

**xXx**

Kurasame was told that Class Zero had set something on fire in the courtyard but like sneaky little creatures they are, they had apparently managed to rid the whole entire square free of evidence.

Whatever they did, Kurasame didn't care. They were satisfied and happy and more importantly, the whole stupid annual class photograph ordeal was over.

A week later, the photograph was pinned up on the huge notice board near the lounge. Kurasame speechlessly looked at his class' photograph which depicted all his students in a battle stance with their weapons out. Fire surrounded them and their country's flag hovering above them all.

Needless to say, Class Zero had the best class photo that year.


End file.
